You're Fat M'Lord
by Randomwords247
Summary: Brainy creates a play, with Smurfette, Himself and Esther as actors, and it's really boring. Esther then comes up with an idea to make things more... Interesting, to say the least. One-Shot. Sorry for the rubbish summary


**Me: Did you honestly think I would suddenly come back, post two mini-stories, and then disappear again for ages? WELL YOU THOUGHT WRONG!  
**

 **Esther: If you did think so, good for you, Random is no better as she kinda thought the same cause she's doing a Project. Thing. I dunno what to actually call it  
**

 **Me: Neither do I. But it's not important, nor is is Fanfic-related so don't get your hopes up :P. But if you DIDN'T think, then THANKS! You have more faith in my abilities then I myself do xD. Anyhow, this is based off a sketch in The Two Ronnies. It's meant to be funny, so hopefully I write well enough to make it so. I know for a fact I can't help but grin while writing it though**

 **Brainy: This childish story is a smurf of my time!**

 **Grouchy: I hate smurfing my time**

 **Esther: You're only saying that because it includes you being insulted**

 **Brainy: But I am the great Brainy Smurf! I don't deserve to be smurfed like this!**

 **Me: Yeah yeah, whatever. Anyhow, I don't really have much else to say except this; BRAINY, SMURFETTE, DISCLAIMER TIMEEEE!**

 **Brainy: The Smurfs, and My Smart Self, and everysmurf inside of the Movies, Cartoon and Comics, belong to Peyo**

 **Smurfette: While everysmurf else belongs to Random, who sweetly took her time to write this!**

 **Me: Uhh... That works I guess...? On to the Story!**

* * *

The Smurfs were all on crowd stands, watching a play. A pretty boring play. It had gone on for about 3 hours so far; About what, was the play, do you ask? Well, not even the Smurfs knew anymore. It was just _so boring_ that they were all nearly asleep, and hadn't a clue what was even going on

The play producer was Brainy Smurf, who also starred as the Main Character. The other Main Character was Smurfette, who played either a guest at Brainy's house or his wife. The Smurfs weren't sure anymore, but they believed it was the second. Somehow, Esther was cast for the Waitress. She agreed because she thought it would be a bit of fun. Something she now began to regret. Even SHE was having trouble staying awake; And she was PART of the play!

"Where's the food my dear? We seem to have been smurfing an extordinary amount of time! It smurfs to be the new Waitress, we smurf for hours for the food, and then suddenly we smurf it all at once! Stupid waitress, isn't a very good one" Brainy said to Smurfette

"Are you sure? She seems to smurf very nice to me" Smurfette countered

"Maybe to you, but she's really stupid to me dear" Brainy answered. Just then, Esther walked in, with a bit of an annoyed face as everyone laughed at the French Maid outfit she had to wear. She put a plate down in front of Smurfette

"Your game, M'Lady" she told her, making Smurfette smile

"I tell you Miss, will you hurry up with my Quarn? And smurf sure it's a nice Fatty piece ***** " Brainy ordered, suddenly making Esther's annoyed frown turn into a gasp, as she suddenly thought of an idea. She held back a grin, as she got the Quarn. A

"See that, she's ignoring me, ignoring me" Brainy said, taking a sip of his grape juice

"Don't smurf such a fuss; She's very efficent" Smurfette told him, rolling her eyes

"Maybe to you dear, but to me she smurfs rubbish" he answered. Suddenly, Esther walked over, holding back a grin, and put a plate in front of Brainy

"You're Fat M'Lord" she told him, making him suddenly double take and stare at her, annoyed. She just walked back, as her grin escaped. Brainy tried to keep his cool, as the Smurfs all laughed, realizing what she meant

"Smurf what I mean, dear, I shall have to sack her" Brainy said _"That'll teach her"_ he thought

"Steady on! We're already short of staff as it is! The Handyman about to smurf us, and the plumming smurfs in a terrible state!" Smurfette gasped out

"That reminds me, I'll have to smurf to you about the lavatries ***** they've all smurfed all-" the smurf with glasses began, but was interrupted by Esther walk over and put a sweet cake in front of Smurfette

"You're Sweet M'Lady" the Human smurfette told her, smiling. Smurfette looked at Esther and smiled widely

"Oh, thank you Miss!" she thanked. Esther just gave her a grin, picked a big bowl of what looked to be walnuts up and put it next to Brainy

"You're Nuts M'Lord!" she told him, grinning widely as the Smurfs all laughed, before walking away again. Brainy just gave a look of annoyance and looked at the Nuts

"Cheeky girl! How am I supposed to smurf these?" he asked no one in particular. Esther grinned wider, as she hoped he would say that. She walked over again, and handed him some nut crackers

"You're Crackers M'Lord!" she told him, trying hard not to laugh with the crowd. He snatched the nut crackers off her, before she walked away

"That does it dear! Staff shortage or no staff shortage, she smurfs!" he announced, hoping Esther could hear, as he put the nut crackers down

"Well I suppose it's your choice. So what were you smurfing about the lavatries?" Smurfette asked, changing the subject

"They're broken, dear, out of order" he answered, while cutting his food

"What? And we've sacked the Handyman!? How are we going to smurf?" Smurfette questioned, pretending to be worried

"You're Pale M'Lady" Esther said to her, suddenly walking over and putting a Pail (Bucket) next to her, making the Smurfs laugh again. She walked over to Brainy, and put a big pot thing next to Brainy

"You're Potty M'Lord!" she told Brainy, causing him to frown a LOT, angrilly. Thankfully for him, the scene then ended, but for the first time in that whole play, the Smurfs all clapped and laughed

As the three Smurfs on stage walked behind the now-closed curtains, Brainy glared at Esther

"That wasn't in the script Esther! Why did you smurf that!?" he demanded

"Simple; Revenge for making me wear this French Maid's outfit" she answered, grinning, and sticking her tongue out, making Smurfette giggle a little

* * *

 ** _EDIT: Haha! I've only just posted this and I already need to edit it to add something. Anyway there was 2 random * in the story so I'm gonna explain why. The reason is because I wanted to say in the Author's Note how I'm not actually sure if you can get Fatty Quarn or not. Oh well. I'm sticking to it cause the Smurfs I don't think eat meat.  
_**

 ** _The Second * is because I wanted to let you know (Because I have no idea how many people know this and I think I spelt it wrong) Lavatries are Toilets. If my memory is right anyhow. But knowing me I spelt it wrong. Oops._**

 ** _Anyhow back to the Un-Edited actual A/N:_**

 **Me: Don't you just love it when I've no clue how to end something so it just ends abruptly like this? ME NEITHER! :P  
**

 **Esther: Hopefully it's as funny as Random planned. But if you wanna see the original The Two Ronnies sketch, just look up on YouTube "The Two Ronnies Your Nuts M'Lord", and you SHOULD get it. That's the hope anyway**

 **Me: But I think we've all learned a valuable lesson from this; Don't ever put Esther in a French Maid's outfit in a play, if you want the play to go right and not have jokes like that in it. Or just don't let Brainy write a play ever again :P**

 **Brainy: I'll have you smurf this play was a Brilliant Master Piece!**

 **Grouchy: I hate Brainy's 'Brilliant Master Piece'**

 **Esther: I agree, it was a brilliant 'Master Piece'!**

 **Brainy: See! Esther agrees with Me-**

 **Esther: -I mean, it's the perfect way to get to sleep if you're having trouble!**

 **Brainy: *Frowns***

 **Me: Annyhowww, I hope you all enjoyed, and remember to Review, to tell me what you think! And I'll see you all next time! BYEEE!**


End file.
